Blurry

I've realized what it is that caused me to become very irritable for the past few weeks. It's my eyes.

Recently my vision has begun to deteriorate at a faster rate. I've been pushing my glasses closer and closer to my eyes just to be able to see clearly. Not only that, but my focus has seemingly diminished as a side effect. I find it harder to concentrate now, especially in lectures; because I can't see the projector screen clearly. I even find myself making more typo errors on the keyboard now.

And so I remain quite oblivious to what's going on around me. My world seemed to have shrunk, confined only to the width of my spectacle lens. Soon I got a feeling that all the people around me were steadily getting ahead in the game of life, while I was still in a small world of my own. Making no progress at all.

Knowing that I couldn't see a lot of things that other people could see, I got depressed. Not just literally see, but just about everything else; while people were making plans and coordinating their daily activities with ease, I just couldn't help feeling that there was disorder in my life. Heck, I couldn't see any future for me at all.

Sometimes I have no choice but to close my eyes even when I want them to stay open, simply because they become dry so easily. Especially when I'm in air-conditioned areas. When I start blinking a lot and looking irritated, my friends think I'm being emo. 

You know the song 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing'? I feel everytime I shut my eyes, when I open them again, it's like I've missed out on a lot of things happening around me. Like I was left behind.

When everything in life becomes blurry, things start to lose their significance and meaning. That's why.

So, I'm sorry.